I'll shamelessly promote a few times

New blog is up with a new post



As promised, here it is.

I am now blogging over here.

Thanks for sticking around.

Good-bye for good, Foxy Pink Cheetah.


Internets - if you're still reading, I would love your input

It has been quite some time since I've blogged and I genuinely miss it. I miss writing. Not that I'm particularly good at it, but because it's some sort of release. It's cathartic. And honestly, I just really, really love to write.

But I am so tired of this blog I could puke. Foxy Pink Cheetah feels like a brand. A brand I don't love anymore. I love what it provided for me when I initially started the blog and continued to write on it for a few years. But I want a new one.

This is where you come in. I need help coming up with a name for the new blog (that I will undoubtedly post a link to here). I have thought of blog names ranging from incredibly pretentious to super boring. For instance, as I was attempting to think of some clever play on words, I thought, "Meh. I should name it 'Just Erin.'" But then it started to feel too pretentious - and too familiar (like Just Jared). So then I went completely in the opposite direction and though, "Just Fucking Erin." Oh dear. Not that either.



The End

I've been debating about this for a long time. Do I make it private? Delete the whole thing? Just stop posting?

Because, dudes. This blog is dead. Very dead.

Foxy Pink Cheetah has been fun but it's a phase I feel I have grown out of.

I will be starting another one soon. If you want the link, leave a comment. 



Everyone is doin' it wrong.

Hashtags are a genius way of searching for "like" things. For example, if I instagram a picture of myself in which I look super hot and want others, preferably talent scouts, to see it, I'm going to hashtag things like #model #actress #gorgeous #sohot #sexy #instaself #vavavoom #boobs #hair #pretty #vain etc etc etc etc etc etc. (While we're on the subject, I hate vanity. I once had a roommate in college tell me I was vain - #bitch. Since then, I feel weird taking pictures with a normal face #sillyfaceineverypicture) Not, #talentscoutspleasefindme #I'mthehottestthingontheplanet #duckfaceisbackin #mycleavageisbetterthanhercleavage #thenewcindycrawford #betterthanmilakunis.

You know why? The simpler the hashtag, the more likely someone will find it. The more complicated it is, the less likely someone will find it. #theoddsofsomeonetypinginthesamewordyhashtagasyouareveryslim.

Did you catch that?

However, if you tend to use the same hashtag for the same things, it makes them easier for you to find. So you can make it as wordy as you want...if you intend to search for all of them later. If I always instagram pics of my son with the same hashtag, regardless of how wordy, I'll be able to search hashtags and find a plethora of pics of my son with that hashtag.

Make sense?

In other words, it makes no sense to post something like, "I just bought my dog, Lucy, a sweater. #she'sprobablyplottingmydeathrightnow." Because no one will ever, ever search for that. #iftheydoitwillbeamiracle #thispersonisclearlymysoulmate #sorryhussy



Bitchy Erin: On Politics

I thought people were over it, but since people are still talking about politics, I'll use this opportunity to defend my position.

Before I get into it, I'd like to point out that the Right Wing Propaganda Machine turned the word "entitlements" into a dirty dysphemism this election while trying to make Obama look like a socialist bent on creating a dependent society. Bullshit. Romney and his party wanted to make the rich people (like themselves) richer while disempowering poor and middle class Americans ("47%" of them...) by taking away their jobs (read: "outsourcing") and their opportunities for an education.

That's part of the reason why we're currently edging closer and closer to the fiscal cliff. Obama won't budge on fair taxes for the rich, and the rich, slimy Republicans in congress don't want themselves or their buddies to have to pay them.

Now, I disagree (to an extent) with Mr. President on "entitlements" and gun control.

Let me explain.

First of all, "entitlements" DO NOT equal "FREE STUFF for moochers." It's making things more affordable and fair. I am currently on one of those entitlements because we cannot afford to continue my work insurance through COBRA. Wanna know why? It would put us out another $700 per month. That, my friends, is robbery. The other thing is the huge and growing gap between rich and poor. It's appalling. The greedy billionaires backing Romney wanted to not only maintain that gap, they wanted to make it worse. They wanted to buy this election so they could make America a plutocracy - controlled by the uber rich who comprise less than 2% of the entire population. Romney was only too happy to help them (understandably because he's included in that 2%). Hence, his statement that he didn't care about the 47% who get "entitlements" (i.e. government student loans) was a true one. What they want to do to poor people in this country is barbaric. For example, in more civilized countries, healthcare is a right. Getting sick doesn't force people into bankruptcy. Yes, they pay higher income taxes but not even close to what we would pay if we went with COBRA (or other insurance policies other than medicaid). A friend of mine told me they pay around $1000 per year in higher taxes for healthcare in Canada. We would be paying over $700 per month. I'll take $1000 per year any day. Now, while I definitely do think there needs to be a way to protect the system from moochers, it is a compassionate and great program for people like me who are not abusing the system. (A lot of Romney supporters who believe in the Law of Consecration agreed that there needed to be HUGE cuts in this system...ahem...)

Gun control: first of all, Obama has done hardly anything about it. Republicans need to get their facts straight. Now, there does need to be some sort of happy medium here when and if Obama does do something about this. I would like to own a gun. Maybe. One that my son would never ever be able to find. Ever. I'd hope to never pull the trigger, but you better believe that if someone approached me while I was with my son with the intention to hurt either one of us, I wouldn't hesitate to pull it. I never would have said that until I had my son. With that said, gun control laws are fucking common sense. They aren't going to make getting a gun any harder than it already should be. What's wrong with background checks? Mental health checks? And, while I'm at it, reference checks? I've gotten multiple reference checks for every job I've ever had. Why not with guns? When people are dying everyday due to gun violence, it seems a small sacrifice to jump through a few more hoops to make it safer. 

With that being said, I don't know where in h-ay-ell the people who voted for Romney get their "facts." Obama hasn't done enough to address the incredibly easy access even mentally ill people have to guns. Especially weapons that can kill lots of people very quickly, say, in a crowded movie theater. If anything he's been a disappointment in this regard. Way too beholden to the NRA or something. In fact, Obama hasn't done a damn thing. And he should! Maybe Obama was just too busy dealing with other shit like an obstructionist Republican House to address the problem. I think the biggest legitimate disappointments with Obama have to do with his foreign policy - targeted killings of Americans overseas without due process of law, drones, military actions killing thousands of innocent civilians abroad, not to mention the Patriot Act right here at home. If the gun-loving rednecks were paying any attention to real facts instead of listening to the endless stream of Hannity bullshit, they would love Obama for his positions on foreign policy. I don't. I'm hoping for an improvement during the next 4 years. (In other news, a lot of Romney supporters believe in a passage of scripture about a tribe burying all of their weapons in an act of non-violence...)

Let's talk about intolerance, shall we? According to dictionary.com, intolerance is an "unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect contrary opinions or beliefs, persons of different races or backgrounds, etc." That pretty much describes people I know who are against marriage equality. Did you know a woman in Las Vegas is marrying a cardboard cutout of Robert Pattinson's Twilight character? Sure, it's for her thesis, but it's legal. I don't see how two women or two men getting married hurts my traditional marriage in any way. If you do believe it's hurting your traditional marriage, please explain in the comments. However, I can only imagine that the answer would be akin to the idea that god blesses rape victims with pregnancies. (I'm pretty sure some of the Romney supporters I know believe in agency as well...)

Green/clean/reusable energy: Global Warming is a real thing (read: More CO2 in earth's atmosphere). Whether you believe human beings contribute/d to the problem or not, it won't hurt for us to stop using things that add to the problem. Sorry to my republican friends, but this *will* increase the deficit. Investing in something like this will cost a lot of money - BUT it will be beneficial in the long run. This would create more jobs, make our country less dependent on foreign oil, clean up the air, etc. No complaints here. (Aaaand, I'm pretty sure god didn't just tell Adam and Eve to "multiply and replenish the earth." He also told them to take care of The Garden).

P.S. Romney claimed he wanted America to become energy independent to drive down gas prices. Bullshit. Republicans wanted to rape the land with more drilling while ignoring global warming. Oil is our biggest EXPORT because Romney's oil tycoon buddies, many of whom were funding his campaign, make a hell of a lot more money selling their oil overseas than at home. Second, Canada is energy independent. And guess what? Their gas prices are over $4 per gallon (or were, haven't checked recently). Why did Romney want to increase drilling in this country? To help the oily boys funding his campaign increase their already obscene profit margins. Energy independence? Pfft. Not only would he have sold this country to the highest bidder, he was already committed to it. Just check out the PUBLIC disclosures of the billionaires funding his campaign - in exchange for him making policies that would increase their profits substantially.

Raising taxes for the wealthy: Again, this is about fairness. The lower the burden on the rich, the higher the burden on the not-so-rich. However, if taxes are raised for both, this could significantly reduce the deficit. I don't know about you, but I'm willing to pay extra per year if that means a balanced deficit, clean energy, and fair health care (ahem...which is BASED OFF OF WHAT ROMNEY SET UP IN MASSACHUSETTS). (Again, read: Law of Consecration).

Rant over.

Here's to a (hopefully) positive next four years (oh yeah, while we're on the subject, IT'S ONLY FOUR MORE YEARS. Chill the f*ck out!) Let's hope congress let's Mr. President get something done this term, eh?

Because of its contents, this posts requires a little nudge to read the Comment Addendum.

(This post is dedicated to my wise, intelligent, beautiful mother)


Reinventing Myself

Writer's block.

I've started writing this blog post over and over and over. And I really do not know where to begin.

I love this little space on the internet that I've created for myself. I love my followers - many of you are kindred spirits which is why you come here (even the trolls like it. Which is why they keep coming back).

A good 50% of my posts are completely embarrassing. I've thought about going through them, editing them, deleting them, deleting the blog. Truth be told, this blog has been a vessel for several things. It was one of THE best things as I exited Mormonism...but now I'm so tired of that topic, I could puke.

It was a great place for me to practice my writing skills in college. I still feel like I use it for that...

I must admit, though. It was so much easier to blog when I was anonymous. I enjoyed it more. Felt more comfortable to say what I wanted to say. PENIS! See?? Half of you just left my blog to go to Facebook because you're offended.

I'm trying to keep the brand of "Foxy Pink Cheetah" and remain in my safe place...but I need to reinvent myself as the author of this blog.

I'm enjoying parenting - and wife-ing. And have an adorable son and awesome husband and can blog plenty about that. Even the not-so-glamorous stuff. Like when my adorable baby Jack isn't being so adorable and won't sleep a solid six hours. And like when my awesome husband leaves every pair of shoes he owns under our kitchen table and I have to move every sweaty, stinky pair into his closet. Speaking of closets, he needs to organize his.

But I digress.

Can I be completely honest on here without being anonymous? I really don't think I can... Not completely, at least. It's not proper netiquette to say, "You're obsessed with the before/after of pregnant bodies." Why? Because people who read this will be asking, "Is she talking about me?? What a b-word." And I just might be. But really, I'm not. Because if you read this blog, or I THINK you read this blog, I ain't gonna talk aboutcha.

I digress again. Surprised?

So should I join the droves of parenting/wife-ing/photography.because.I.own.an.expensive.camera/I.craft.because.no.one.cares/my.baby.is.cuter.than.your.baby/my.body.is.better.than.your.body/cutest.family.on.the.web blogs?? Should I just roll all of that together into one blog, add in my honesty and narcissism and call it good? (Because, fo' real, I do like to craft. I like to take pictures of my son. I like wife-ing - because I do it my way. I do think my baby is the cutest. I do want a hot, healthy body. I like to say it like it is. And I like the way I think. REALLY!)

I wanna be liked. I do. Who doesn't?? But I want to be honest. And sometimes I bitch about stuff. For instance, I don't decorate for holidays (except for Christmas because all of my decorations are nostalgic) because my son isn't old enough to give shit. Next year, he will be. (Speaking of shit, don't worry. I don't say that word in front of my son. We talk about colors and butterflies). YA KNOW??

I want to blog as "myself," but if people know it's me...I can't really be myself. Because I bitch - and I want to be liked. Because I'm real. Because I'm a narcissist. Because I make fun of people who try too hard to keep up appearances. Because sometimes, I talk about people I know - because those are my real life experiences.

And where is the tact in that? How the eff do I blog about real experiences without people knowing that IT'S THEM??? How the eff do I reinvent myself without losing my voice? Shit.balls.

Rock meet hard place.


Thoughts on swearing

Okay, fellow bloggers and readers. What are your thoughts on swearing around your kid?

I just went through some of my old posts...and my goodness. I've got the mouth (at least on paper) of a sailor. I promise I'm not that bad in person...but I do curse occasionally.

So, for those of you with "potty mouths," do you do it in front of your kids? How do you teach them not to say those things?

I majored in Communication and the last thing I want to do is give power to the word...BUT, because many of these words already have some sort of power in our culture, I don't want my child saying those things until he's at least 30 years old. Or ever.

And he's so innocent and sweet. I don't want him hearing them either.

So, how do I teach my child (I'm worrying about this prematurely...he's only 3.5 months old) that these words exist and that many of them carry powerful meaning in our culture (ooorrrr...just make you sound like Honey Boo Boo's family) but that he should never, ever say them?

*Sigh* Really, the whole point of this post is for me to tell you all that I'm improving my language. That's all.


I Lied

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 is the shittiest day in my life so far (Dear Life, this is not a challenge. You win. Stop sucking.)

Blogging is cathartic for me. I need this.

We had to put the most unique, adorable, hilarious, and intelligent dog down on this day. I don't know how to explain to you what I'm feeling. How do you explain to people that you feel like you just lost a family member who just so happened to be an animal?? Some people get it. Some don't. So instead, I'll tell you what happened.

I called the vet that morning. Scout was fine. I was told I would be able to pick him up at 1pm the next day and that I'd be bringing him back to the hospital for physical therapy twice a week for at least a month after that (probably more). Sounded good to me.

Around noon, I got a call from the vet. I was unable to answer the phone since I was playing with Jack. I called back shortly after when Jack fell asleep.

The message the doc left made me nervous...So when I called back, I only half listened to all of his vet-talk-mumbo-jumbo until he used the word "unfortunately." My ears perked. I guess part of me was waiting for him to say "THIS IS GOOD NEWS!!" instead of "unfortunately."

The "unfortunately" was followed by a whole bunch of ugly about how my poor Baby Scout's spinal cord suffered too much trauma...and that it was essentially dying off. He had already lost function of his anal sphincter, his front legs, and his breathing muscles. His diaphram was the only thing helping him breathe. But his breathing was labored...and would eventually stop. They didn't know how much longer he'd last.

I cried.

And cried.

And cried.

We rushed over to see him and love on him as well as end the suffering as soon as possible.

I cried again. Or sobbed. I don't know.

Random sobs from both Jake and I are common these days. And I've never heard my husband cry like that. I don't think he's ever heard me cry like that either.

Scout looked excited to see us because his ears were perked but nothing else moved. Except his eyes. He kept  his eyes on us the whole time.

We decided to have the doc come back in to help him pass peacefully when Scout attempted to lift his paw and put it on my face. He always did that. But then he began to whine...barely. You could barely hear him. Ugh. It was awful.

His passing looked peaceful for him. And that's all I want to say about that.

The answers seemed so simple when I was still Mormon. When I was positive there was a heaven. But then I looked deeper and found other answers that I didn't like. And now I'm not sure about heaven...

Dear God/Gods/Goddess/Goddesses/Masters of the Universe...whoever, whatever you are. Please bless that there is a heaven. Not to help my faith or to give me peace that there is a place for me after I die. But to make me feel better about the passing of my dog. HE deserves to be there.

Dear Scout, I'm so sorry. We tried so hard to fix it. I love you so much. I wish there was a stronger word for hope because I HOPE that you are barking and playing with other dogs, dreaming of your girlfriend, Lulu, running around in the biggest, coolest field you have ever seen, chasing an endless supply of squirrels, laying out in the sunshine when you need to rest, and eating as much people food as you want. I'll always be your mommy. See you at the Rainbow Bridge, Buddy.


Terrible, Rotten, No-Good Day

Monday, August 20th, 2012 was probably the worst day of my life to date.

Where to begin...

Jake's family came to visit to meet the most beautiful and adorable baby in the world. And I'm so glad they did. I don't know how things would have worked out if they hadn't.

We spent the majority of their trip showing them around the city, our favorite places to eat, shop, and play, playing with the baby and just genuinely enjoying each other.

On Friday evening after a day of shopping (FYI, H&M has cheap and adorable baby clothes), we came home to my dog Scout acting weird. He was a little hunched over and when we took him on a walk, even though he was still just being a dog and wanted to sniff everything that was in his path, he was also wanting to sit down every few steps. This is very unusual behavior for my dog. My first baby. Especially since we had taken him on a potty-walk earlier that day and he was his normal self.

I continued to watch him throughout the night and decided that he either had a really intense bladder infection, or was passing giant kidney stones. Either way, he was more than uncomfortable.

I called the vet the next day and was able to get him an appointment at 9am. The vet concluded that he wasn't entirely sure what was wrong, but that Scout was definitely in pain and prescribed him some pain meds. The doc threw it out there that the problem may be in his spine since his behavior is typical with dogs who have some sort of spinal issue.

He gave us the meds and a strict bed rest order (except for potty breaks).

I took Scout home, gave him the meds, and took him potty but really limited his activity outside. He seemed to do great the rest of the day - even though he spent the majority of it in his kennel.

Then things progressed insanely fast.

When I took him out the next day to go potty, he was rolling on top of his left leg and dragging his toes underneath him. Within an hour of that, he had lost all function of his left leg. Within an hour of that, he'd lost all function in his right leg. The rest is a blur but for the rest of the night, my dog refused to eat, drink, potty, or move.

I kept pinching his toes and legs to make sure he could feel. After Jack woke up in the middle of the night to eat, I checked on Scout again. The poor dog was just laying on his side with his eyes wide open and he was shivering. I hand fed him some chicken and cheese, but he refused to drink anything. Even when I brought him chicken broth. I was panicking.

I continued to pinch his toes and legs which seemed to bother him. The last time I remember doing that was around midnight. Although, I may have done it after one of Jack's feedings but I have a hard time remembering what I do in the middle of the night.

I called the vet on Monday morning and the earliest appointment they had was 12:30pm. This is where Jake's family saves the day.

Baby Jack was scheduled to get his two month shots at 2:00pm. Because of the location of the vet vs Jack's pediatrician's office, there is no way we could have done this without two vehicles (Jake and I share a car). Thankfully, Jake was able to go with his dad and brother to take Scout to the vet and I was able to take Jack to his appointment.

Now onto Jack's shots. My sister in law was with me, thank goodness, because I had to leave the room. I already knew that I'd be doing that even before I was stressed out about my dog. Coincidentally, I cried when Scout got his shots. His doggy scream was more than I could handle. I knew that if I cried when Scout got his shots, that I'd definitely bawl my eyes out when Jack got his. Thank you, SIL, for saving the day.

After Jack's shots, he ate, then fell asleep in the car.

Back to Scout. I get a call from Jake: "Hey, Babe...bad news." (Erin takes deep breath as her throat starts to hurt from holding back tears). "The vet isn't sure if it's a disc in his back, or a tumor. But either way, Scout has no 'deep pain sensation' in his legs. He's probably paralyzed."

Now, although I was sad my dog may be paralyzed, I was really concerned about the word "tumor." I'm pretty sure that if a tumor is on the spine, there's nothing you can do. My mind began to race about putting my 3 1/2 year old, spunky, hilarious dog down. I was sick.

He then let me know that the vet referred him to a surgical specialist and that they needed to rush Scout there right away.

I'll let you know now that it was NOT a tumor (thank GAWD!!!!!) I don't really think it's fair to leave you hanging like that. Because, lemme tell ya, I was hanging before we knew the diagnosis, and I was a mess.

The diagnosis was a compressed disc. The bad news: the swelling spanned across six vertebra and in the spinal cord. They reduced what swelling they could around the vertebra, but unfortunately, there's nothing they can do about spinal cord swelling. The doc basically said, "It's up to Scout now."

Sick to my stomach.

Back to Jack. He was happy and great when we brought him home. He wanted to nap but he was mostly smiles and farts. I'll take it.

But then around 6pm...he started to act weird. I have never in my life heard a baby groan in pain...let alone my own kid. He woke up groan-crying. Again, I have never heard anything like it. My sweet little man had a low grade fever, a tummy ache from the rotavirus vaccine, and sore legs from the shots.

If you moved him at all, he'd scream. So you had to keep him in the same position while lightly bouncing him. This would keep the cry at a low-groan...even in his sleep.

I don't even know how to explain the stress I was feeling. Here, I'm holding the saddest little boy in the world while worried about my possibly paralyzed dog.

On top of that, the surgery is costing about 3 grand (or so they quoted to us...) and he will have to get physical therapy.

It's just money - and I'd pay as much as I had to for either of my dogs - but that's a ton of money.

Monday deserves a hard kick to the shins.

It is now Wednesday and I'm happy to report that Jack is feeling much better. He's still sleepy, but he's happy.

Scout...we're still unclear. We went and visited him yesterday and he looks bright and alert with perky, happy ears...but he still has no "deep pain sensation." The doctor is giving him 8 weeks to get it back, or else our dog is paralyzed.

I will definitely post updates about Scout. I have high hopes.